Begin the Beginnings
by Alamo Girl
Summary: After a raucous Christmas Eve party at the Planet, Lois feels the onset of the holiday blues. So, Clark takes her on a walk to remember…


**Disclaimer**: _Superman_ and all its characters are the property of Warner Bros Entertainment, DC Comics and all the writers and creators that kept the saga going for over fifty years. May their lawyers be appeased with my admission that I'm only toying with them for a short while.

**A/N: **After a drought of non-writing, I seem to have found this somewhere in the corner of my mind. This was done for the 12 Days of Clois challenge, and I'm a complete dorkwad for not posting this here sooner. Special smoochies to **seanmontgomery** and **htbthomas** for the super!betaing! Huggles!

"**Begin the Beginning" by Alamo Girl**

"God, Jimmy! Is this something you do every Christmas?"

Lois had to raise her voice to be heard over the blaring rendition of "Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer" being pumped through the speakers in the war room of the _Daily Planet_. With the cacophony of various drunken voices raised in what one could only _assume_ was song, the mass of people milling around the chairs – and the brave few who attempted (and failed) to dance on top of their work desks – she idly wondered if a bull horn might be more appropriate.

Over her cup of eggnog, which was suitably laced with a healthy dose of brandy, Lois sent Jimmy Olsen a sardonic glare.

"What?" Jimmy blinked his red-rimmed eyes, the effect of the alcohol he'd consumed that evening in full effect. "I was just doing Steve from Copy a favor passing these out. He said all the ladies would really want one."

He swayed as he bent to examine the Xeroxed paper on Lois' desk. Lois leaned her chin on her hand, waiting for Jimmy to _get it_.

He squinted. "I don't get it. Why would he give me a picture of a huge number '3' to pass out to everyone?"

Lois turned the sheet of paper horizontally, so that the '3' shape took on a whole new meaning. "Jimmy…that _isn't_ a '3'."

After a comic moment, Jimmy's eyes rounded in shock. "Oh, sick man!" he tossed the rest of the pictures up in the air, creating a confetti shower of the less than flattering photo of Steve's '_ass_ets'. "I can't believe I was actually touching those!"

Lois sniggered into her cup. "Well, at least I can safely say I've seen Steve's _better_ side. Though, I am _never_ touching that copy machine in his department again!"

Jimmy snagged another beer from a passerby, earning him an incredulous look from the guy, and leaned awkwardly on Lois' desk.

"I can't believe the chief actually lets us turn this place into Party Central," he said, observing that a guy from the Fashion section had his assistant's bra tied around his ears, like lacy black earmuffs. "He'd shit a brick if he saw the bull pen right now."

Lois took a moment to glance around. The bull-pen looked like a holiday junk store had thrown up everywhere. Paper plates, food, various liquor bottles, paper mâchè decorations and balloons littered the floor – and oddly enough, the ceiling. Some joker had tied mistletoe over every door way, which effectively gave everyone carte blanche to turn all the entries and egresses into make-out spots.

She lingered a little too long gazing at a couple of young interns locked in a passionate embrace near Richard White's old office. The boy was rounding 'second base' and on his way to third in a hurry. And Lois, if she allowed herself to, could remember a time not so long ago when Richard and she were that couple.

A wistful smile turned corners of her mouth. She remembered the times spent working until the wee hours that ended in a mass of tangled clothing and heavy breathing, praying the night watchmen or the custodians didn't walk in and catch them on his couch.

Jimmy spilling some of his beer on her desk broke her out of her reverie. "Jimmy! Watch it!" She waved her hand at him to move away, and snatched a napkin to mop up the beer. "I wouldn't worry about Perry too much. He and the wife always make tracks to the ski lodge upstate the day before Christmas Eve. What he doesn't know about the _Planet's_ annual Christmas…," she paused, watching the bra-muff guy let his assistant straddle his lap in an office chair, "…_orgy_…won't hurt him."

"It might end up being a little painful for _that_ couple," a familiar male voice high behind Lois' right shoulder observed.

Clark pushed his glasses up on his nose a notch, motioning with his head toward the Chief's office. Perry White's secretary, it seemed, wanted to live life on the edge this holiday – giggling like a fool while she turned her set of his office keys in the lock. Her boyfriend, Clark assumed, was watching over his shoulder – though it was obvious no one in the office remotely cared what others were doing. Once inside, the secretary drew the blinds shut, and yanked the young man inside by his coat lapels.

Clark tried to fight the blush that threatened to creep up his neck as his super-hearing could plainly pick up the festivities going on behind the closed doors. Sometimes, he really regretted having those super senses.

Rubbing the back of his neck with a grin, he said ruefully, "I wouldn't want to be in her shoes if the Chief finds out someone had been in his office over the weekend."

Lois shrugged, giving him a nonchalant look. "Two words, Clark: _Plausible Deniability_. As long as you put everything back…don't break anything on the desk…"

When she realized beyond the growing alcoholic fog in her brain how she sounded with that comment, she nearly choked on her drink. Jimmy goggled at her, a mouth-full of beer paused between his gullet and the bottle, making his cheeks puff out like a chipmunk. She noticed Clark's countenance wasn't so much shocked, as it was…_hurt_? He refused to meet her eyes, letting his roam the room uncomfortably, while he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Uh…I mean…"

Jimmy gulped past the beer in his mouth. "Miss Lane," his tone taunting, "Don't tell me you've gotten _freaky-deaky_ in the big guy's office before?"

Before Jimmy could move (or stumble, as the case was) Lois popped him upside his head with a file on her desk. Clark couldn't help the snort of laughter that escaped when Jimmy, rubbed his head with one hand, a suitably apologetic look plastered on his face.

"Don't be stupid, Jimmy. Lois Lane wouldn't get caught fooling around in her boss's _office_, for the love of God!" She gave the boy a dirty look, but secretly grinned when she turned her back on him. No, it hadn't been in _Perry's_ office…she caught herself looking at Richard's darkened work space.

She missed Jimmy stalking off, cradling his beer and muttering something about 'not being caught was the operative phrase'…and she found her memories taking a more pensive turn. She knew it had been for the best – Richard's leaving. With everything that had happened, Jason's lineage, her own reemerging feelings for the Man of Steel – she couldn't keep up the guise of a happily engaged woman. And thankfully, Richard had understood. She knew he'd have to be told that he wasn't Jason's biological father someday. But Lois, for the life of her, couldn't figure out how to do it.

When he took the overseas job for the _Planet's_ British affiliate, she figured she'd been graced with an out. But, she knew Reckoning Day was coming. Lois sloshed another hit of brandy into her thinning eggnog.

_Nothing like a little brain numbing agent_, she thought dryly. Deep down, she knew it was the ache in her heart she was attempting to staunch.

Clark stood by his partner, suddenly wishing that _mind reading_ was one of his many super abilities. He watched the emotions play over her beautiful features as she looked toward the unused office, knowing whatever she was thinking about had to do with Richard. He signed inwardly. Clark knew it might've been petty, but when Richard left, he was actually glad. The decidedly red-blooded male part of him saw his opposition finally being removed, leaving him clear to rekindle the fire he (and he alone) knew once existed between he and Lois.

He'd gotten along with Richard, he really had. But even Superman could feel the twinge of jealousy prick his heart when he saw another man enjoying the life _he_ so very much wanted.

_Standard human response, right?_ Clark folded his arms across his chest, leaning on an adjacent desk. _Scratch that_, he conceded to himself. Lois' form standing in front of him commanded his eyes' attention again, and he felt the most encompassing wave of longing wash over him. She was still downing the brandy like a life-line, and all Clark wanted was to gather her up in his arms and fly her away. He knew the alcohol would be a temporary crutch, and when it wore off, the 'come-down' would be twice as bad. He desperately wanted to save her from that inevitable back-slide.

He saw couples dancing slowly to Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" – the singer's velvet voice weaving a spell of love and calm over the crowd of drunken partiers. Two by two, pairs came together, holding onto each other in silent reverie, while the old crooner sang of new beginnings and Christmas dreams.

Clark noticed Lois watching the dancers, her eyes following their movements in half-lidded nostalgia. But it was the pain flickering deep beneath the alcohol and the 'front' of strength she always wore, that tugged at his heart. He had to get her out of there. Just…for some fresh air. He couldn't stand watching her drown her misery in brandy and ghosts of the past.

Truth be told, he himself was getting overwhelmed with the loneliness he usually was quite adept at keeping at bay.

"Hey, Lois," he tried softly, touching her elbow, "Whadda'ya say we get out of here? Just for a little while?"

Lois started a little, giving him a confused look, before returning her face to a mask of indifference. "What…tired of the Yule-tide nausea already, Clark?"

He answered her with a simple smile, silently asking her to trust him. _What the hell_…she placed her cup on her desk and moved to retrieve her coat. The room spun as she straightened up too quickly, the brandy she'd been sucking down all evening finally getting the better of her. As she stumbled forward, two iron-strong arms caught her, gently stealing around her waist.

"Uh…thanks. Guess I got a little tipsy there," she fumbled, trying to place the look on Clark's face through the brandy-haze.

"Don't worry," Clark said, his voice dropping what seemed like an octave, causing a chill to thrill across her skin. "I've got you."

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The snow had been falling steadily for the past few days. Metropolis was blanketed in a silver frosting. The trees, long since barren of leaves, stood like silent sentries in the park as Lois and Clark jogged across the street to the gates.

Lois' high-heeled boot caught a patch of ice and skidded sideways. But Clark could move faster than the eye could follow, and easily steadied her. Lois harrumphed, pulling her coat around herself, yet feeling oddly warm and comfortable with Clark's arm around her.

"Nice.'Let's go out for a walk Lois, and watch you fall and break your face in front of all of Metropolis'," she mocked, not so subtly reminding Clark that it had been _his_ idea to come to the park, in the snow and ice.

Clark chuckled, steering her away from another ice patch, "Aw, c'mon Lois. Look at this place!" He gestured to the trees covered in icicles and snow. The benches looked like funny white bumps along the lanes, and the air smelled crisp and clean for a change. "It's quiet and peaceful. A regular winter wonderland."

Lois simply stared at him, askance. "I can't believe you just said something as cheesy as that."

But Clark's grin only grew unabashedly wider and Lois rephrased with a shake of the head, "Actually… knowing you, I _can_ believe it."

As they walked in silence, Lois hugged her arms around herself. She pulled away from Clark somewhat, choosing to put some distance between them while she gazed out over the winter landscape. Dully, she remembered walking in the park on a day not so very different from this with Richard. It had been one of their first dates – and Lois was still feeling the sting of Superman's disappearance. She hadn't really thought of it as a date actually, since Richard had merely convinced her to go for a walk in the park with him one afternoon. She'd known he'd been wanting to ask her out for a while, but she didn't and _couldn't_ trust her heart to be put out on the table for scrutiny so soon after having it broken.

But a simple stroll in the snow-covered park had been innocuous enough. And they'd had a wonderful time. Lois felt a knot of emotion formulate somewhere behind her chest and work its way to her throat. Perhaps it had been a huge mistake leaving the _Planet_ and coming out here. She'd hoped to escape some of the crushingly depressive thoughts the holidays brought – but this was almost worse!

Struggling to maintain composure, Lois paused, pushing a lock of hair out of her face. "Um, Clark? This is real nice and all…but…" she found it suddenly hard to continue. _God, Lois! Don't be such a sap!_

"Lois?" Clark turned to face her, his deep blue eyes awash with concern. Lois was dodging eye contact, and looked uncomfortable. Maybe this wasn't going as well as he'd planned… "Are you alright? Too cold?"

She shrugged, offering a half-smile. "I'm fine. Nothing like a little frostbite to sober up the '-ol' senses."

But the chuckle that came out sounded more like a strangled sob. Clark realized she was remembering something painful, and though he'd had the best of intentions getting her out there all to himself – her melancholy had only worsened. His chest seized with empathy as he took a few steps forward.

"The holiday season can be lonely, can't it?" His voice was soft.

Lois turned to him with a quizzical look. "Wha-what are you talking about? Lonely?"

He nodded, taking another step toward her, her scent filling his senses and urging him onward. "You know, it's supposed to be the time of the year when we're thankful for what we have…only…it usually reminds us of what – or _who_ we don't have." His muscles were literally aching to hold her – to take the chill of life's reality away and infuse her with his warmth.

Lois swallowed hard. She was never one to throw a pity-party for herself. But the truth in Clark's words struck a cadence in her heart. It'd never occurred that Clark Kent, of all people, would understand the loneliness the holidays brought. He had Smallville after all, and if the pictures that used to adorn his desk were any proof, family and friends would be waiting there for him. Lois had little Jason, of course…but the one person in the world she identified most with in times like this, was _Superman_.

Alone in this world – well, until recently when he discovered that he had a son. Lois felt a pang as she thought of him – always an observer in this world, but never really _part_ of it. Even with an heir, what life could he hope to have with the child? _Or…with me?_ Lois forced those thoughts back into he murky locker in her mind. She'd been dwelling on them enough lately.

When she looked up, Lois noticed how close Clark was, his chest almost encompassing her entire field of view. Suddenly her whole body seemed to sag, from the inside out. She hadn't realized how exhausting putting up the front that 'everything is perfect in my life, thanks for asking' truly was. She was tired of the _stiff-upper-lip_ campaign. She was tired of coming home to an empty bed at night.

She was tired of the endless monotony of dwelling on half-strung out feelings and anxieties of life – dreams of a life with a living demigod that couldn't possibly find a place in the real world, and the eternal reminders that real-life relationships aren't always what they're cracked up to be.

Lois was just so damned _tired_. A cold chill swept over her and she shuddered, still staring into Clark's intuitive face. Without really noticing when or how it happened, Lois felt his hands steal around her waist, pulling her ever so gently toward him. Snow had begun falling again, pearly white flakes standing out starkly against his black hair. He looked…_well…like an angel_. The initial absurdity of that thought faded away in Lois' mind as Clark bent his head toward her.

Clark's warm breath played across her face, the rumble of his voice radiating through his chest as they pressed closer. "You're never alone, Lois. Not really…" he whispered.

Clark could nearly see his own reflection in the pools of her eyes. She felt so small and vulnerable in his arms, and the pain he could see made him long to fly her away to a place where he could protect her from _anything_. Even the sorrows of life. Above his need to comfort her, Clark knew he had to go slow. He wanted to savor every second of this moment – for he knew times like this, when her guard was lowered to a point that she would allow Clark Kent to embrace her in full-fledged love (and not seem to be aware of what was going on) would be fleeting.

But all thoughts of future consequences were shoved away, as her lips summoned his and he could no longer resist. Softly, tenderly, he caressed her lips with his own – almost tentatively. He waited to feel any resistance from her body under his hands, fearing the spell might be broken. But when Lois sighed into his mouth, her arms running up his chest to entangle around his neck, Clark opened the floodgates of his passion. He tightened his arms around her waist, pulling her fully to him and plunging into her kiss with everything he'd had penned up for so long.

Lois didn't care. She was past the point of caring what it looked like to be passionately kissing her partner in the city park, in the middle of winter. They were feeding each other's need for _connection_ – both taking solace in understanding arms. Lois gave in to the rush of emotion, the heat that spread like wildfire though her system as he explored her mouth fervently. His essence washed away the loneliness and pain, the fears and doubt for the future – and simply allowed her to _feel_ for the moment.

Time seemed to slow. The possibility of new, fearless beginnings seems to spread out before both of them.

Clark's hands had minds of their own as he ran them up and down her body, in her hair, to her neck. He could feel her heart racing in perfect time with his. His body was urging, _begging_ him to take it further – _somehow _– somehow to take her away and loose himself in her skin and eyes. To hell with any realizations about his secret identity.

He _wanted_ her. _All_ of her. Just for himself. He could feel a familiar fire growing to the flash-point low in his gut, and he fought to maintain control.

As if Mother Nature could sense the imminent need for stability, an icy blast of wind blew across the two, ruffling Clark' hair and tingling Lois' cheeks and neck. Clark became dimly aware of their surroundings, lessening his hold on Lois.

Lois felt his grip loosening, and she responded by letting her arms slide back down to his chest. Agonizingly slowly, she pulled her lips away from his – lingering inches from them, savoring his taste and feel. Her body had no intention of breaking the embrace, his warm, solid frame felt too good against hers.

Just as both their eyes opened at the same time, each still in a passion-induced fog of euphoria – the whole wooded glen they were standing in lit up with millions of white lights. Lois and Clark were both taken slightly aback as they looked around. The trees, shrubs, benches and statuary had been decorated with pure white lights. Evening was falling, and obviously set to a timer, the lights had turned themselves on with full force.

The park took on an ethereal glow. Lois smiled like a child as she took in the new beauty of her surroundings. Clark stood there, enjoying the glow of the lights on her hair, and the way it sparked in her eyes.

"Wow," she breathed, "Now _this_ is a winter wonderland."

Clark laughed, still holding onto her and praying she wouldn't 'wake-up' and pull away. "I told you. A walk in the park, enjoying the scenery," he gazed down on her with a soft smile, "Being with someone who cares about you. It always lightens up the holiday spirit."

Lois continued to stare at the man holding her. The man whose eyes were filled with love in the truest sense of the word. He'd turned out to be much more than she'd expected – and yet, there was an oddly familiar air about him. Something in her gut told her that this was just…_right_….her and Clark. The way he kissed her – Lois felt her cheeks flush with the thought of it. The passion, the emotion…the way he seemed to anticipate what her body wanted. It all seemed so familiar…

Her face must have become clouded in thought, because Clark's brows furrowed.

"Lois?"

She continued to stare into his face, her fingers idly stroking the front of his coat. "Thanks, Clark. For this." Her tone was soft and serious. But she still made no move to pull away from him.

Clark's heart nearly burst from his chest. The way she'd been staring at him, he was afraid she was remembering something from the past…perhaps seeing past his guise. In the heat of the moment, he hadn't cared whether she found out he was Superman or not, but now…_well… reality has to set in sometime_. Worse yet, he worried that regret was sneaking in, and she'd pull away and demand that they never speak of this moment again. Like it had never happened. But that would be impossible, and if she'd hinted that she wanted to forget it, Clark was sure his heart would crumble.

If anything, Lois seemed to be relieved somehow, a weight was lifting from her eyes and she even snuggled in a little closer to him.

Clark smiled, reverently running a hand down one of her silky cheeks, "You're welcome."

Lois watched him for a moment longer, reveling in the feeling of his skin on hers and pushing away the undeniable familiarity it brought. _Now isn't the time to over-think things, Lois. Thinking is so overrated…_

She sighed and rested her head on Clark's chest, breathing in his scent and closed her eyes. Screw anyone who saw them, she didn't care. This felt too right. She sensed Clark heave a contented sigh as he rested his cheek on the crown of her head. His hands closed around her back, encompassing her in warmth and shielding her from the world.

After a few moments, Lois felt a smile pull at her lips.

"Clark?"

"Hmm?" His chest vibrated with the husky timbre his voice had now taken on.

"You might want to fix your glasses. They look like they're about to fall completely off." Lois said with a smirk. She could just imagine Clark's eyes popping open in shock.

As she felt a tentative arm release to reach up and fix said glasses, Lois' smile grew wider and she closed her eyes and snuggled a little deeper into his embrace.

**The End**

Like? Dislike? Yeah, I know it's late from Christmas, but really, it's more Lois/Clark fun. Can you really complain about that? **FEED the AUTHOR's NEED and REVIEW!**


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